Josh's Updates: Top 10 Ways to Tell You're a New Dad

Funny email I received:

Top 10 Ways to Tell You're a New Dad

10) Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.

 9) The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal.

 8) You are used to doing everything one-handed.

 7) The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.

 6) The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.

 5) Your idea of romance is hand-holding.

 4) You answer the question "How are you?" with "We're fine."

  3) You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt's main colour.

 2) You see a slender teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, "Hey, I wonder if I could interest her in... babysitting?"

And the #1 way to tell that you're a new dad:

1) It takes you two months to write and send out a simple top-10-style joke email.